That Don't Impress Me Much
by arysa13
Summary: Clarke goes on a series of terrible dates and ends up complaining about them to Bellamy. He offers to go on a totally platonic date with her just to make sure it's not her that's the problem.
**Okay, So You're a Rocket Scientist**

Tinder is Octavia's idea, and Clarke isn't totally thrilled with the notion, but she's been single now for almost a year and she's ready to get back into dating. According to Octavia, Tinder isn't actually all just sleaze bags or people just looking for a hook up. Not that there's anything wrong with just wanting a hook up, it's just not really what Clarke wants. Nevertheless, she trusts her roommate's advice and downloads the app and sets up a profile. She's picky at first, hardly swiping right at all, until Octavia gets impatient with her and snatches her phone off her one day, swiping right on a whole bunch of creeps.

"How do you know they aren't the one unless you give them a chance, Clarke?" Octavia says knowingly as she hands the phone back to a scowling Clarke. Unfortunately, since Clarke's profile photo is super hot, most of them turn out to be matches and she has to fend off the incoming fuckboys. It's not hard to spot them as they usually just ask her for nudes straight up, or a threesome, when they see she's bisexual. She unmatches those guys straight away. There is one guy though, who sees she's studying medicine and asks her about her course. He's a little older than her, and he's a doctor too, and reasonably good looking.

"Hey, I think your random swiping actually may have hit one good one," Clarke says, showing Octavia the messages.

"Statistically it had to happen," Octavia shrugs. "Ew, his name is Cage though."

"Do you think I should see if he wants to go on a date or something?" Clarke asks. Octavia is the Tinder expert after all.

"Sure," Octavia nods. "But have me on speed dial in case you get trapped. Ha, get it? Cause his name's Cage?"

"I got it," Clarke rolls her eyes.

* * *

Clarke arranges for a date with Cage (well he arranges it. He claims he knows all the best places to eat.), and they meet up a week later. He isn't as good looking in person, but Clarke isn't really that disappointed. She's not after him for looks, after all.

He kisses her on the cheek when they meet outside the Italian restaurant.

"Lovely to meet you in person," he says as he leads her inside. He pulls her chair out for her, which is nice, if a little old fashioned. That's where the niceness stops though. Cage orders a red wine for them both when the waiter arrives.

"Actually, I'll just have a cider," Clarke tells the waiter. "I don't really like wine," she turns to Cage, only to see him frowning at her. "What?" she asks, wiping her face in case she has something on it.

"I think you should have the wine," he tells her. "Cider isn't really going to go with what we're eating."

"We haven't even ordered yet," Clarke points out.

"I ordered when I booked the table," Cage says, as if it's obvious.

"Right," Clarke rolls her eyes. "Wine it is then." She can't really be bothered arguing, and if he's paying then she supposes it doesn't matter if she doesn't drink her drink.

Cage only gets more painful after that. He quizzes her on medical terms, tells her all her opinions are wrong and forcefully teaches her how to pronounce everything on the menu. It's a nightmare.

When said nightmare with Cage is finally over, he leaves her with a dry kiss, and Clarke is in need of a stiff drink to wash the taste of him off her lips. She heads to the bar near her apartment where she knows Octavia will be working.

"How was the date?" Octavia asks when Clarke sits down at the bar.

"Do you think I'd be here if it went well?" Clarke points out.

"That bad, huh?" Octavia asks, screwing up her nose. "What do you want?"

"Something nice and strong," Clarke groans. Octavia fixes her the drink and hands it over the bar.

"On the house," she says. "I'd really love to hear about the date but I've got to keep working. If you want someone to talk to about it, Bell's just down there sitting by himself like a loser," Octavia points down the bar to where her brother is relaxing. He notices the girls look his way and raises his eyebrows at them. Clarke nods to Octavia and heads towards Bellamy.

"What's a guy like you doing alone in a place like this?" Clarke jokes as she sits down beside him.

"I was meant to be out with Miller but he ditched to go on a date," Bellamy grins.

"I hope his went better than mine," Clarke sighs.

"What was wrong with him?" Bellamy laughs. "Or her," he tacks on.

"He basically thought he was the smartest guy alive. A regular original know-it-all," Clarke rolls her eyes.

"Well, maybe it just seemed that way because you hate to be wrong," Bellamy teases.

"Like you can talk, Mr. I-Know-Everything-That-Happened-Before-1901," Clarke scoffs.

"I actually know a lot of stuff that happened after that too," Bellamy boasts and Clarke can't help but laugh at him.

"You're such a nerd," she shoulders him playfully.

"You love it," he winks. "Can I get you another drink?"

* * *

 **Okay, So You're Brad Pitt**

Clarke's next match looks more promising. And by that she means he has really nice hair and he hasn't yet mentioned anything to do with medicine or Italian pronunciation. She sets up the date this time, deciding to go with a movie instead of dinner, in case she doesn't want to talk to him. If she _does_ want to talk to him they can always ditch the movie and go for a walk or something. She still has Octavia on speed dial in case he tries to murder her or something.

The date doesn't start off so well, however, as Finn is twenty minutes late and she has to wait for him outside in the cold.

"Sorry, I'm late," he says when he finally arrives. "My hair just wouldn't do what it was told."

"I hate that," Clarke smiles. At least he's apologised for being late, and bad hair days are the worst.

"How does it look?" he asks her.

"Um," Clarke squints. "Fine. Shall we go in? We've probably only missed the previews."

"Yeah, yeah," Finn nods absentmindedly. He seems to be checking out his reflection in the glass doors. Clarke rolls her eyes and leads them inside.

The movie isn't anything special, another male dominated action flick that Clarke can't really get into. She glances at Finn, who at some point has put his arm around her, which is nice. He's really attractive and the movie isn't great (he doesn't seem to be enjoying it all that much either), so she leans towards him, pressing her lips against his when he turns to look at her. He seems into it at first, and he's an okay kisser (a little too much saliva for Clarke's liking) but then she runs a hand through his hair and he immediately pulls back.

"Crap, I think you messed up my hair," he says, trying to smooth it down.

"It looks fine, Finn," Clarke assures him. It literally doesn't look any different from when they first walked in.

"Are you sure?" Finn asks worriedly. Clarke nods, but Finn is already pulling something… a _comb,_ of all things, out of his pocket. Clarke stares in horror as he begins combing his hair. "Is it okay?" he asks.

" _Yes,_ Finn," Clarke snaps in annoyance.

"I can't really tell in here, I'm just going to duck to the bathroom," he tells her, getting up to leave. Clarke takes that as her cue to also leave. She doesn't think Finn will miss her that much. She doubts he'll even notice she's gone, he's so worried about his dumb hair.

She gets home, intending to collapse into bed and mope over her failure of a date, but she's surprised to find Bellamy lounging on her couch, wearing nothing but a pair of sweatpants. He's much more attractive than Finn and he's not even trying.

"Bellamy?" she asks, bewildered.

"Oh, sorry," he says, sitting up. "Octavia said you were out for the night. Miller has a guy over and O said it would be okay if I hung out here for a while."

"It's fine," Clarke shrugs, coming to sit beside him on the couch. "Miller with the same guy as last time?"

"Yeah," Bellamy nods. "Seems like it's going well for him. Not so well for you though, by the looks of it."

"Nope," Clarke shakes her head. "I left in the middle of the movie because Finn went to the bathroom to fix his hair."

"Well, his name is Finn, what did you expect?" Bellamy snickers. "Also, bet you wouldn't be annoyed about it if a girl went to fix her hair in the middle of the movie, hm? Sexist." He declares as if he's just got her cornered.

"I would so, and anyway you know you can't be sexist towards men," Clarke huffs.

"I know, I'm only teasing you," Bellamy laughs, looping an arm around her and squeezing her tightly. Clarke feels a weird swoop in her stomach that she can't explain so she quickly gets up and heads to the bathroom before she can start feeling anything else she doesn't want to.

* * *

 **Okay, So You've Got a Car**

"Third time's the charm, right?" Clarke says wryly as to Octavia as she heads out the door. Raven, her newest date, insisted that she pick Clarke up, and when Clarke gets onto the street and sees the car, Clarke can see why. The Maserati is impeccable, and Raven clearly takes good care of it, it glimmers under the streetlight it's so clean and though Clarke doesn't know a lot about cars, she can tell this one is fancy as fuck.

Raven gets out of the car when she sees Clarke, grinning from ear to ear.

"Hey," she pulls Clarke into a hug. "So great to meet you!"

"Nice car," Clarke says. It's definitely the right thing to say.

"Oh, you like it?" Raven says nonchalantly. "Wait till you see what this baby can do," she winks. Clarke grins at her and Raven heads back to the driver's side to get in. Clarke pulls the passenger door open and goes to get in when Raven stops her.

"Uh, Clarke," Raven says, a little apologetically. "Would you mind taking your shoes off before you get in?" Clarke stares at her for a good five seconds before realising she's _serious_.

"Um," Clarke tries not to grimace. "Sure." She sits down in the passenger seat and slips off her heels before swinging her legs into the car. Raven grins at her then, and they speed off down the road.

The date itself isn't bad. Clarke likes Raven a lot. They seem to have a lot in common, and she's definitely better company than Finn or Cage. It's just… the car thing is weird right? No one has ever asked her to take her shoes off to get in a car before. And Raven does talk about cars a lot as well, which is one topic Clarke can't really contribute to. Still, it's a pleasant dinner, and Clarke is thinking about setting up another date, but, well then something even weirder happens.

Raven drops Clarke off, back at her apartment, and gets out of the car to say goodbye.

"I had a great time," Raven tells her.

"Me too," Clarke smiles back. Raven gives her a quick peck on the lips, which is nice enough. Nothing mind-blowing.

"Okay, now do the car," Raven tells her.

"I'm sorry?" Clarke asks in confusion.

"Meredith would also like a kiss goodnight," Raven winks.

"Your car's name is Meredith?" Clarke asks, as if that's the weird part.

"Yeah," Raven nods. "Are you going to kiss her or not?"

"You must be joking," Clarke snorts.

"I always kiss her goodnight," Raven says defensively. Clarke stares at her, utterly perplexed.

"No offence, but I'm not going to do that," Clarke says flatly. "Look, I had a good time tonight, but I think we might be better off as friends."

"Oh, okay," Raven shrugs. "That's alright. Maybe I'll see you around." Clarke nods and breathes a sigh of relief when Raven gets into her car and drives away.

She crawls into bed and pulls out her phone, smiling to herself when she sees she has a message from Bellamy.

 **How did the date go?**

 ** _It was great up until she wanted me to kiss her car_**

 **That had to be autocorrect. There's no way she actually wanted you to kiss her car**

 ** _Oh she very much did_**

 **I'd never make you kiss my car**

Clarke's heart skips a beat when she reads that last message. It's almost like he's suggesting _he'd_ like to date her. But she must be reading into things. They're friends. He doesn't want her like that.

 ** _You don't even have a car_**

 **Exactly**

Clarke doesn't really have a response to that, but she really wants to keep talking to him. She'd been tired before, but she's wide awake now and she's grinning at her phone like an idiot. She's about to ask him how his day was when he sends another message.

 **You know, I'm beginning to think maybe it your dates aren't that bad at all**

 ** _What do you mean?_**

 **Well, maybe it's you, not them**

 ** _How dare you_**

 **Well, am I supposed to just take your word for it?**

 ** _What, do you want to date me to make sure?_**

 **Yeah. I could show you where you're going wrong**

 ** _Be my guest_**

* * *

 **You're Something Else**

"I can't believe you're going on a date with my brother. Finally," Octavia grins as Clarke walks out of her room, ready for her date with Bellamy.

"It's not a real date, Octavia," Clarke reminds her.

"You keep telling yourself that," Octavia smirks. There's a knock on the door and suddenly Clarke panics.

"Oh god, he's here," Clarke mutters.

"If this isn't a real date, why are you worried?" Octavia says knowingly. "Also if it's not a real date, why are you dressed like you want to get laid tonight?"

"Will you shut up? He'll hear you," Clarke hisses. Octavia cackles to herself.

"Are you guys going to let me in, or…?" Bellamy's voice comes through the door. Clarke hurries to open the door and her breath immediately catches in her throat when she sees him.

"Hi," she manages to choke out.

"Hey," Bellamy returns, sounding a little breathless himself. "You ready?" Clarke nods and steps out the door with one last look at Octavia's knowing smirk.

"Have fun kids! Use protection!" Octavia calls after them.

* * *

To Clarke's dismay, her date with Bellamy is absolutely perfect. They walk to a restaurant, and he makes charming, witty banter with her all night. He never once mentions his hair or car, and he only tries to argue with her twice. It should make her happy, of course, but the problem is, to him this whole date is just to prove a point. And no, his point hasn't been proved, it's clearly Clarke's dates that are the problem and not Clarke herself. But now that Clarke's been on one date with him, she doesn't really ever want to stop.

He takes her hand as they walk back to Clarke's apartment, and she can feel her pulse quicken and her face heat up at the contact. Is this part of the pretend date? Or does he actually just want to hold her hand? Is this a real date after all?

"So how did I do?" Clarke asks him when they reach her door. "Do you have any pointers on how I should go about future dates?"

"No, Clarke, you were pretty much perfect," Bellamy says, a little sadly. Clarke feels her stomach lurch as Bellamy lets go of her hand. "Guess it must have been your dates after all."

"I knew it," she grins, and Bellamy is smiling back but it doesn't quite reach his eyes and she wonders… or maybe she _hopes_ it's because maybe he wants it to be a real date too.

"Goodnight, Clarke," Bellamy says, turning to go.

"Bellamy?" Clarke says quickly, stopping him.

"Yeah?" he turns back to her.

"I know I was perfect on the date, but honestly, you could use some advice," Clarke tells him.

"Oh yeah?" Bellamy raises an eyebrow. "And what's that?"

"You really should have kissed me," Clarke says, then waits with baited breath for his response.

"It's not too late for that," he breathes, taking a step towards her, taking her face in his hands and pulling her into his open mouth, kissing her with fervour. Clarke melts into him, her insides turning to jelly as she meets his tongue with her own, and for the first time in months she actually _feels_ something. Her lips tingling, her skin burning, her whole body thrumming with anticipation, desperate for more.

"I've been wanting to do that all night," Bellamy says when he finally pulls back.

"Ditto," Clarke grins, her heart still pounding at the speed of light.

"I'm glad all your dates sucked," he tells her.

"Ditto again," Clarke laughs. "Octavia is going to be so smug about this."

"Totally worth it," Bellamy smirks. "But I probably shouldn't come in anyway. If you know, you were going to invite me."

"I was, but you're probably right," Clarke agrees. "Besides, I don't sleep with people on the first date."

"Good to know," Bellamy laughs. "Goodnight, Clarke."

Clarke walks inside, and once Octavia has pumped her for information she heads to bed and gets out her phone. She's intending to send a message to Bellamy, but she sees he's already beaten her to it.

 **I heard you had a date tonight. How was it?**

Clarke rolls her eyes but she's grinning again. He's such an adorable idiot.

 ** _omg. You will not believe this guy._**


End file.
